


Recognition of Exile

by Herald_of_Dreams



Series: Star Wars Tales [19]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Drabble, Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-13 19:38:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/828066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Herald_of_Dreams/pseuds/Herald_of_Dreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written in 2005. Obi-Wan Kenobi begins his self-exile on Tatooine and thinks on what brought him there in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recognition of Exile

_You were once my friend and pupil, and now my life is shattered._

Anakin, what did I do wrong?

What did I do to hurt you so badly?

Sometimes I stare at the suns and wonder if what went wrong was Qui-Gon’s belief that I could teach you. He believed in me too much. I was never as good as Qui-Gon.

Maybe what went wrong was my own cockiness that I could teach you as well as Yoda. That was severely wrong. Yoda had 900 years to perfect his technique, and I believed I could do the same as him when I’ve only been a Jedi for 30 years!

The grains of sand on your homeworld are so rough, Anakin. How did you live here? How did you survive?

But now, as I pull out your lightsaber from my cloak and look at it, I can see exactly how. Because you built this the way that you had to survive here, so that it could survive. It’s lethal, plain and simple. Made to do its job, and do it well. Your handgrip is unique, for you were one of the only Jedi that could fight with either hand.

I stand up and ignite the blade, and stare at its pure blue. Blue as the sky and water, blue as your eyes, blue as your son’s eyes.

Yes Anakin, you have a son and a daughter. Your daughter looks like her mother but has your temper. But it’s the son that is the heartache to watch. He’s beautiful, small, with his mother’s face and you in every other inch of him. Even those eyes, those wretched blue eyes that remind me of another pair of blue eyes. Yours.

But now I have to stop and wonder if your eyes are still blue, or if they are that intense gold that stared at me, full of hate, as I let you tumble down the black sand to your ignition. Your ignition as a darksider. You choose that path and I chose to let you fall. I wasn’t feeling merciful Vader.

I wasn’t feeling mercy, just like you weren’t when you slaughtered all those Jedi and the younglings at the Temple.

I saw you murder them, Vader and it made me lose all pity for your situation. I hardened my heart and let go, let go of all of my hopes and dreams for your future, your future as a father and husband.

You see, Vader, the Jedi Order would have let you have a family; they wouldn’t have hurt you or Padmè, or your precious children.

But you had to trust Palpatine, instead of the man who loved you like his own son. Yes, I thought of you as my son and that’s why it’s so painful for me now to call you by a name other than the one I knew.

So now, as the suns set and I prepare to leave this hill, I let tears stream down my face and taste their bitterness. It’s time to let you go, and I have to do this, otherwise I will not be able to face the dawn.

Goodbye Anakin Skywalker, father and friend…

_Hello Lord Vader, Sith Lord._

 


End file.
